What “Succession” Can Teach Us About Regret

Spoiler alert: This article reveals key plot points of the April 9, 2023, episode of Succession.

Our work lives are complex and demanding, and strong emotions often affect how we navigate these challenges. One strong emotion — regret — is on display in this week’s episode of Succession, titled “Connor’s Wedding.” The episode raises a few ideas we can all use to deal with regret and use it as a potential force for good.

Aboard their brother’s wedding yacht, Kendall, Roman, and Shiv Roy receive the devastating news that their father, Logan, is dying — or, more likely, is already dead — while on a flight to Europe. As a flight attendant administers chest compressions, Shiv’s estranged husband Tom holds the phone to Logan’s ear, so the children can speak to their father. Their expressions convey regret — the realization, perhaps, that they missed previous opportunities to express their love for Logan, despite treachery and dissatisfaction on both sides.

Research suggests that the type of regret that the Roy siblings seem to feel stems from the self-blame that comes from recognizing our present reality might have been better if we had made different choices. Looking back on the past and wishing we had done things differently is a common human experience. We most often regret making poor choices in our relationships, careers, and education. Looking back years later, we might kick ourselves for not taking an exciting job offer or not following a somewhat risky dream or not telling others how we truly feel about them. We tend to regret the things we didn’t do more than the things we did do, research finds. In particular, we regret failing to prevent a negative outcome, like not expressing love to someone who has since passed away.

Many scholars have proposed that the purpose of regret is to prompt us to identify our mistakes and avoid repeating them in the future. By recognizing where we went wrong, we can take steps toward personal growth and improvement. Indeed, people who express regret about the past are more likely to envision ways to improve in the future. This finding led researchers to conclude that fully embracing and experiencing our regrets may be the key to rising above them.

Throughout the episode, there are moments that show us how we can respond to regret in a way that lowers its intensity and allows us to focus on other aspects of our lives.

Find closure.

When Tom calls the Roy siblings, he tells them that their father is “very, very sick,” and describes the situation as “very, very bad.” Though Logan has likely already passed, Tom creates an opportunity for the children to try to reach closure by offering to hold the phone next to their father’s ear, so they can share a few last words. Kendall, Roman, and Shiv each struggle to tell their father that they love him — and to decide whether to forgive him for his betrayals. “I can’t forgive you,” Kendall says, “but it’s OK and I love you.”

Closure is the process of resolving unfinished business or reaching a sense of finality or acceptance about a situation or event. When people feel like they’ve reached closure, they’re more likely to feel a sense of resolution and less regret about the past.

While regret can serve as a powerful motivator for corrective action, it’s most effective in the short term, before we believe we’ve lost the opportunity to fix a situation. The scene in which the siblings are confronted with the death of their father is a dramatic reminder to express our true feelings rather than letting important moments slip away. Will regret lead Logan’s children to take a different approach to their close relationships and the way they work? It will be interesting to see whether their regret has lasting effects.

Get some distance.

Logan’s eldest son, Connor, is informed about his father’s passing as something of an afterthought. When he finally hears the news, Connor’s first response is, “He never even liked me.”

With these words, Connor is engaging in what psychologists call motivated reasoning — a cognitive process in which people use their preexisting beliefs to interpret information in a way that supports those beliefs.

If we use it to ignore or downplay evidence that contradicts our beliefs, this process sometimes leads to biased thinking, flawed decision-making, or inaccurate judgments, But, in some cases, motivated reasoning can be helpful because it provides people with a sense of direction and purpose. For example, if a person is motivated by a particular goal, such as achieving success in their career or making a positive impact on society, they may use motivated reasoning to convince themselves that their actions are the right ones to achieve that goal. This can help them to stay focused, motivated, and persistent in the pursuit of their objectives. Connor likely wanted to have a happy wedding (his goal that day), without being distracted by the incredibly sad news of his father passing.

In a similar way, motivated reasoning can also help us reach more positive conclusions about negative situations and create some distance from the pain those situations create. It does so in part by promoting optimism and resilience. For example, research has found that people who were encouraged to engage in positive thinking following a stressful event showed greater resilience and reported fewer negative emotions over time than those who were not encouraged to engage in positive thinking. By looking at a negative situation and reframing in in a way that makes us feel better, as Connor did when reacting to his father’s death, we can reduce the intensity of the regret we feel. 

Motivated reasoning can also give us distance from negative and traumatic events. This distance can enable us to appreciate the full meaning of what’s happening, research finds. And it also helps us manage any sense of regret we may feel.

Embrace compartmentalization.

The news of their father’s passing is, understandably, devastating to the children. But Waystar Royco executives soon remind them that they need to make consequential decisions for the business, such as how to reveal Logan’s death to the world. The news will influence the market and board decisions about the company’s leadership going forward. At a time when the Roys are feeling disoriented and deeply sad, they need to find clarity.

Kendall, in particular, shows some ability to engage in compartmentalization when telling his brother and sister what needs to be done to keep their business options open for the future. His mixed emotions about his dad — and his own ruthlessness — likely play a role in his ability to compartmentalize. “What we do today will always be what we did the day our father died,” he says. “So, you know, let’s grieve and whatever, but not do anything that restricts our future freedom of movement.”

Compartmentalization, or the act of separating different aspects of our lives into distinct mental compartments, allows us to manage stress and maintain a sense of control over our lives. It’s also a defense mechanism we use, wherein conflicting thoughts and emotions are consciously or unconsciously separated or isolated from each other within our mind.

Compartmentalization can reduce regret by helping us avoid dwelling on negative experiences or decisions that we may have made in one area of our life. For example, if someone makes a poor decision at work that results in negative consequences, they may be able to compartmentalize that experience and not let it impact their personal life or other aspects of their work.

When we are able to compartmentalize our thoughts and emotions, we are better able to solve complex problems and think creatively. And by separating different domains of our lives, such as work and family, we can avoid becoming overwhelmed by the demands of any one area. This can help us stay focused and productive without neglecting our personal life.

Compartmentalization can also help us set and achieve goals. By breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks, we can better focus our efforts and make progress toward our objectives. Plus, compartmentalization can help us stay motivated and engaged by providing a sense of accomplishment and progress as we move through each task. While compartmentalization isn’t the answer to every problem, it can be a valuable tool for maintaining balance and achieving success in our work and personal lives.

By adopting these strategies for dealing with regret, we can turn a negative emotion into a powerful motivator for growth and change. As the Roy family navigates the aftermath of Logan’s death, we’ll see whether regret shapes any of their future decisions. Will they let it consume them, or will they channel it into something positive? It’s a tantalizing question that has us eagerly anticipating future episodes.