Where Have You Run Into an Ex?

A few months ago, after school drop-off, I was walking to grab coffee with my friends Andy and Izzy. It was one of those perfect spring mornings — birds chirping, flowers blooming — when I suddenly heard my name: “Joanna Goddard.”

I looked up, and there he was, standing on the sidewalk: the guy I had dated for five years in my twenties. He reached out for a hug, and time slowed to a crawl as I took mental stock of my outfit (jacket, , and sweatpants, why?) and rearranged my face into what I imagined was a neutral expression (below).

My exact expression.

“How’s it going?” he asked, unfortunately looking great with windswept hair and a gray sweater. “Pretty good,” I replied and introduced my friends. Just then, a man walked by with a fluffy dog, and I saw my escape hatch: I leaned down to pet the dog, smiled, and called out, “Well…see you later!”

As we headed toward the café, Andy, Izzy and I resumed our previous chat about kids and TV shows and books, and I mentally congratulated myself on being so poised and, dare I say, elegant during a potentially awkward encounter.

Except.

I obviously hadn’t been.

Later in the day, while taking a work break, I texted Andy and Izzy to let them in on my big secret. Here are the texts that ensued:

Me: Guys, you know how we ran into that guy on the corner
And we said hi and I hugged him
That was my ex!
At least I wasn’t in sweats with wet hair and no makeup
Oh right I WAS!

Andy: I suspected that’s who it was!!

Izzy: I knew that was your ex!!!
He has ex written all over him!

Me: Omg hahahaha what
Did you pick up on my trapped animal vibes

Izzy: 100% very much yes

Me: Why??? How???
Wow you guys didn’t miss a beat

Izzy: That interaction could only mean one thing

Andy: For me it was his expression
And the way he said your first and last name

Izzy: Haha yes tbh his expression read as “We have definitely had sex before”

While reading their texts, I couldn’t stop laughing. I hadn’t fooled anyone. As my friend Lina always says, “People are more transparent than they think.”

What about you? Where have you bumped into exes? Please tell me you were smoother than I was.

P.S. 10 reader comments on breakups, and seeing my body with fresh eyes.